Should I Stay or Should I go?
by wolfikins
Summary: What did Edward do while Bella was in the hospital after they had taken care of James? This is a chapter I wrote through Edward's eyes for Midnight Sun. I do not own anything that was created by Stephanie Meyer.


**Midnight Sun**

_After great pain a formal feeling comes— _

_T__he nerves sit ceremonious like tombs;_

_T__he stiff Heart questions-was it He that bore? _

_And yesterday—or centuries before?_

_T__he feet, mechanical, go round _

_A __wooden way Of ground, or air, or ought, _

_R__egardless grown, _

_A __quartz contentment, like a stone._

_This is the hour of lead Remembered if outlived, _

_As freezing persons recollect the snow- _

_First chill, then stupor, then the letting go._

_Why did she go to him?_ He sat with his thumb and pointer-finger smashed against his lips and part of his cheek, _how did he get her to come to him?_

"Why didn't you stay with Jasper and Alice?" He hissed and set the hand that was against his face along Bella's chin, carefully caressing her soft and bruised cheek when Carlisle's thoughts suddenly interrupted his own. Carlisle took a few seconds to glance at Bella's heart-rate monitor.

"Her vitals look good, she's stabilized", Carlisle said and tucked Bella's chart under his upper arm and grabbed an SD card from his pocket, "Jasper found this before they…took care of the ballet studio. Emmett and Jasper watched it before they brought it to me…Edward I don't think you should watch this."

Edward took the video camera from Carlisle's hand, "Carlisle I can see what he did to her, watching can't be that much worse."

Carlisle pointedly stared at Bella's unconscious form, "Bella didn't break her leg in a fall, Edward. James broke it."

"I can handle it Carlisle," Edward said, "I'll be okay."

"Is she still asleep?" Renee asked with a styrofoam cup of tea in her hands as she entered and then took the only seat next to Bella's bed.

"She should be waking up soon, she's had a rough few days," Carlisle smiled at Renee.

"Maybe this morning?" Renee asked hopefully while reaching out and following the bends of Bella's curly hair with her fingers.

"It isn't an exact science," Carlisle said, "maybe you should try talking to her, Renee. It helps."

"I'm so glad you're here, Carlisle. You saved my baby girl," Renee whispered as she sniffled into her tea.

"She did most of it, she's a fighter. Try not to ask her too many questions when she first wakes up. Let her adjust to the new surroundings, and we wouldn't want anyone to have to relive what she's been through," Carlisle replied, _anyone, Edward._

"Thank you anyway, both of you," Renee turned to Edward and smiled, "I'm so glad she has someone as tentative as you looking after her."

Edward forced a smile in return, "Thank you, Renee. I'll be back in just a short while, I want to get home and change before Bella wakes up."

"Please, don't hurry. She'll be here when you get back," Renee gave a small laugh; "you have to get some sleep some time. I haven't seen you sleep since I got here!"

_Shit,_ "I've just been so worried about her, I didn't want miss anything," Edward threw out.

"I know the feeling," Renee sighed and then shooed him out of the room, "Go. Take care of yourself."

"Come, Edward. I was just leaving myself," Carlisle said, waving a hand towards the door.

"I'll be back soon," Edward nodded and stalked out of Bella's room.

"Edward wait," Carlisle grabbed Edward's shoulder and turned him around, "you don't know what you're doing. You can't change what happened, don't torture yourself by watching the video."

"I need to know, Carlisle," Edward growled.

"You know what happened, you can see her injuries. Do you really need to know how they happened?" Carlisle pressed, "Let it go."

"I'll be back soon. Call me if Bella wakes up," Edward growled and turned away.

* * *

Edward set the video camera on the motel table and stared at it from his seat. He will never be able to erase what he sees from memory. Every second will be burned into his brain for the rest of his existence. Edward turned it on, pushed the release button and the screen was ejected from the side of the video camera. In the corner, the red recording dot was still, and on the screen he saw the motel door. A cold finger pushed the play button.

"Action!" James said.

Bella's face lit up the screen. Edward saw her stubborn chin, her defying lips and the fear in her eyes; a lamb trying to fend off a lion. She was trying to be brave, and it might have bought her some time—if her time wasn't up.

Edward growled as James taunted Bella, "feeble attempt?"

How did she get there? Did she think she was going to get out of there alive? What was she thinking? The only thoughts in the world that he wants to hear and he can't because she's a mental mute. What happened before this moment?

What did she spray at him? Pepper spray. Really Bella? The screen is suddenly covered in stretched colors which Edward was able to see as the flooring. Then Bella's screams as she is smacked against one of the support beams. James focuses the video camera on to Bella as she feels her head and her hand comes back covered in blood.

Her screams echoed off of the ballet studio walls causing a crackle in the sound. Her conditioned face bounced off of each mirrored surface while James grabs her wrist and inhales her deep, intoxicating scent. For just a moment, all is still except for Bella's labored breathing, and then the crunch of her bones as James breaks them.

The muscles in Edwards's hands flexed causing the oak motel chair to splinter under his palm. The video cuts off after the video camera is thrown across the floor.

"Carlisle told you not to watch it," Alice says from the motel door. Her pixie-like walking took him off guard.

"He crushed her leg, Alice," Edward hissed, "He bit her."

"You should have let the venom spread. She would be one of us, and you guys could have lived together forever," Alice said, "Bella is going to be a vampire, one way or another."

"Not if I have anything to do with it," Edward said, "I can't take her soul, Alice."

Alice sighed and took a seat, cross-legged, on the bed, "Edward her time is up. She's lucky she made it this far in life."

"Because of me!" Edward yelled and threw the video camera at the metal motel door, "Alice…I have to let her go."

"Edward you can't. Her fate is intertwined with ours forever. If we change course, it could be fatal for her," Alice stood and touched Edward's shoulder, hoping to calm him.

"It's fatal no matter what I choose," Edward growled, "There has to be another way!"

"There is. Change her."

"That's not an option, Alice!" Edward went to pick up the video camera from the dirty floor.

"It's her only option for some sort of life!" Alice hissed, "You can't take my best friend away from me, Edward."

"You barely know her," Edward said as he set down the video camera on the dresser, "In 100 years, you'll forget about her."

"When she dies in 70 years, will you forget about her?" Alice asked.

"When she dies in 70 years, there won't be a reason for me to be here."

"Edward!" Alice gasped, "You wouldn't!"

Edward shook his head, then stared at the floor while fiddling with his fingers, "Alice, I've always wondered when I would meet the one—an Esme, Jasper or an Emmett; my other half. I had just about given up when Bella walked into my life. She's my Jasper, Alice. I can't take away her soul."

"You aren't taking away her soul. It will be with her. Right here," Alice placed her cold hand on Edward's chest, where his still heart was nestled between two still lungs.

"Alice…you don't believe as I do. How can you understand?" Edward hissed.

"I understand your pain," Alice hissed, "that's enough. You need to take into account Bella's wants. If she didn't want this, why would I have the visions?"

"Because I'm meddling with her life!"

"That has nothing to do with it and you know it," Alice growled, "I saw her before. You know I did, I showed you."

He remembered the vision. A faceless girl with beautiful dark brown hair, that when the sun hits just right, reveals the red undertones. One vision, her face is blurred except for two glowing red eyes. In the other, she's laying in a casket, dead.

"No!" Edward moaned painfully, "I won't condemn her to death."

Alice sighed, "Then change her."

"No. End of discussion," Edward growled, turning his back to Alice.

Shaking her head, Alice changed the direction of the conversation, "then what will you do?"

"I will protect her. I'll make sure she has ever human experience possible. Then, when she passes away, I will go with her."

"I won't let that happen," Alice said, "you're my brother, Edward. I won't let you go."

"Then search for another answer," Edward hissed, "I'm taking a shower and going back to Bella."

Alice sighed again, "One more thing, Edward."

"What?"

"Please don't let her go," Alice whispered, "I need her."

Edward didn't reply. He grabbed a handful of random clothes and stalked to the bathroom.

* * *

**Thank you for reading my short chapter! If it's liked, I may add more chapters! Please leave a review, they are very helpful in my editing and writing progress! Thanks again! ~ Wolfikins**


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